Overwhelmed
The work nobody sees you doing
Splitting tasks evenly does not automatically split the load evenly. The mental load is the remembering, anticipating, and planning that happens before any task even becomes visible, and it is real work, even though it rarely looks like work.
Noticing something needs doing is its own job
Remembering the permission slip is due, noticing shoes are getting too small, knowing the pediatrician appointment is coming up before it becomes urgent, this is cognitive labor, separate from whoever eventually does the task. If you are always the one who notices, you are carrying the load even on days your partner does plenty of hands-on work.
"Just tell me what to do" can keep the load exactly where it was
Being asked to simply assign tasks can feel like help, but deciding what needs doing, when, and delegating it is still the planning work. It has just been renamed. Real redistribution usually means your partner taking on some of the noticing and anticipating itself, not only the execution.
This is rarely about laziness, and naming it directly still matters
Often one partner has built the habit of scanning for what is needed, sometimes from early caregiving, sometimes from something less examined. That does not make it less exhausting to carry, and it does not mean it will resolve on its own without being named clearly and directly, not hinted at.
You are allowed to name this specifically, rather than waiting for it to be noticed.